


I insult Elias for 280 words exactly while also describing the cliche american life i guess????????

by Wiblur



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27124268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wiblur/pseuds/Wiblur
Summary: this is very specific and very stupid, as always. also a little political maybe????
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	I insult Elias for 280 words exactly while also describing the cliche american life i guess????????

elias bouchard? fuckin stupid ass piss drinking shithead. he walks around wondering who he'll eye possess next and he chooses the fucking office stoner??? not some strong, in perfect health, insane dental care, has a lovely wife and 2 children, lives in a suburban 2 story house with a spiral staircase (hehe), has a slide, an attic, a basement, a large backyard leading into a secluded forest thats haunted my quiet and friendly ghosts, has a large playset, a trampoline, a large garden with a plum tree and raspberry/blackberry bush, strawberries growing alongside the house in the front yard, nicely trimmed bushes in wacky and cool shapes, a chicken coop, a shed that was turned into a lounge with a small fan/heater, an actual shed that is a little scary at first, but isnt too bad, a swimming pool with a diving board and small slide, a smaller pool filled with sand, friendly neighbors who you barbeque with every saturday, not friendly neighbors who'll get kicked out in a few months, a medium-large dog thats a friendly sweetheart who everyone wants to pet, has a park near the house with a tire swing, and is polite and funny with an interesting job?

but no, he COULD'VE done all his weird creepy eye shit with cliche family and friends and a EXTREMELY CUTE DOG, but n o he just HAD to traumatze his employees and cause the apocolypse instead of learning how to use his fear powers in a good way???? like imagine how much good you could do when you can see lierally everything! you'd be able to save lives!!

so tl;dr elias sucks

~~so does america~~


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